So, I was a new writer. I had two poetry books published, two novels, FISH FARM, and one of my best sellers, BESA.
I had some readers, but they were mostly friends, family, and a smattering of people I didn’t know from some Facebook postings.
On the plane to the Dominican Republic, I was sitting alone in the tenth row. My noise-canceling earphones were playing my mix, and my eyes were closed. I was enjoying the flight, listening to Tony Bennet, Marc Anthony, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, and Sinatra.
Something broke my bliss with a nudge to my arm. Standing in the aisle was a very attractive woman in a short skirt and skimpy halter. All I could think
of was Ralph Kramden in the Honeymooners saying “hamana hamana harr.”
“Excuse me. Are you Louis Romano, the author?” She asked.
“Hamana hamana harr harr…Yes I am!”
She now squats down, her skirt rising even higher. I can’t avert my eyes.
“Well, I just loved BESA. I think it was better than FISH FARM, and I read that one twice.” She uttered.
Stunned!!! How could some hot random woman recognize me? Was I becoming famous? This book author thing was working out great so far!
“Louis, are you staying in Punta Cana?” she asked, her voice smokey like that of a jazz singer.
“I am for a week. And your name?”
“I’m Joanna, but my friends call me Jack. Tell me, Louis, are you married?”
“Hamana hamana harrrrr.” Well…you see… Yes, Jack...I am.”
Suddenly, from a few rows back, I hear my dear friends giggling like 8th graders. I turn to see Don Onorato Esq. and Dr. Paul Weiner laughing and pointing with the ‘We gotcha’ fingers. They set up the whole charade.
The good, sporty, beautiful lady drank for free all the way to the Dominican.
After that, I swore that if I’m ever at the beach, on a plane, or anywhere else for that matter, and I see someone reading one of my books, I will order a bottle of Moet and Chandon Champagne for them.
To date…no one has recognized me, and I walk around looking at the covers of the books people are reading. E-books are no help.
